On January 12th of this year, I was contacted by Rori Raye, relationship guru who has a website called www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com. In her email to me she mentioned “I’m looking for coaches, speakers, and authors who can offer concrete ways for a woman to feel great about herself and get into, keep, and deepen a romantic relationships.” After a few email exchanges, Rori Raye and I had a very fun phone call where I shared with her some of the techniques I use, how I coach clients on relationships and dating, as well as some examples of real client situations. No names of course.
The call resulted in her inviting me in to her studio to do a recorded interview that lasted about an hour and a half which could have easily gone on longer. Although we agreed on specific topics to cover, we also agreed to be spontaneous and let ourselves do an “in the moment dance” of just going where the conversation took us. We covered a wide range of subjects in regards to dating, values, and being in a relationship.
She was asking me questions about how I would coach clients through difficult relationship histories, troubled current relationships and finding one’s confidence to get back out there to see a positive future in dating. We talked about masculine vs. feminine energies, and what blocks us from having the life we dream of or our ideal relationship. It’s also important to be conscientious of who you are getting your dating/relationship advice from. Most of your friends and family will advise you based on their history and what they think is good for you, not necessarily what is really good for you. Rori Raye and I also covered ground on how to understand your emotions, and to answer the most basic question of why you would want a relationship in the first place?
What I really love about relationships, and that goes for all relationships not just romantic ones, is that we use relationships to express who we really are. The problem is that most women don’t truly express their authentic Self due to fears. We also often look for reasons to not date someone rather than the reasons why we could. Notice how I did’t say the word “should.” The word should is in reference to a “have to” and no one wants to “have to” do anything. So why make yourself? Instead use the dating experience to learn more about yourself and to get know the array of interesting men out there. Not every man you date will end up being your husband. So you might as well enjoy your time with them.
To engage yourself in the dating pool with intention, clarity and confidence may be a whole new experience for you. So to start with the first step, it’s important to ask yourself some valuable questions. It’s also important to recognize your own personal dating style.
The cd my interview is on was shipped the first week of March and I listened to my copy this past week. I am grateful for having had the opportunity to sit down with Rori Raye and discuss one of the most widely discussed issues in our society. If you guessed it’s happiness, you are mostly right, but there is a large percentage of women (and men) who base their happiness on the status and experience of their love life. What would it be like for you to be happy regardless?
When I coach clients on dating, we start with questions such as the following:
1. What is your definition of dating?
2. What are your beliefs about men?
3. Where do your beliefs about dating come from?
…and many more.
If you’re ready to approach tomorrow with the desire to get a clear picture of those relationship patterns that are no longer serving you, mixed with knowing how valuable it would be to truly know what you value in terms of relationships, then don’t wait another day. There is an abundance of love out there–love that you were meant to give, and most importantly receive.
Also, if you want to search for me and for SEO purposes, remember to type Alanna Levenson (not Allana Levinson!) into Google and it will bring you right to my site!