As women, being the emotional creatures that we are, we tend to get to a point in our lives where we start to reflect on where we are and how we got here. That self reflection involves taking a look at what we are up to at this stage in our life, regardless of what stage that might be, as well as the people that are we interact with on a regular basis. The reality of who those people are and what their most noticeable qualities might be can either be a harsh one or a proud one.
Have you ever wondered why you have the friends that you have? Whether you’re married, currently in a relationship, or out there dating, do you ever think to yourself “what am I doing to attract these types of men?” It might not necessarily be what you’re doing or not doing, it’s most likely due to who you’re being.
So now you might be wondering, well what does that really mean, “who am I being?” Who a person is being may have something to do with actions you are taking but it’s more or rather how you approach what it is that you do. It also has to do with the why you do what you do.
To dig a little deeper, it has more to do with what is it that you value and whether or not you are honoring those values. Most people really don’t know what they value in the many different aspects of their lives, including relationships as a whole. If you did, the how and why of what you do would be crystal clear. As would the who is along right there with you.
Since we attract who we’re being, can you answer the question of who you’re being in the world? Maybe a better place would be, whom you would you like to be? Where it all really starts is to answer the question by acknowledging what type of relationship you have with yourself.
To honor your values is to love yourself, respect yourself, and to hold yourself of high importance. I’m no longer surprised by the many limiting beliefs people share with me, that supports how often are taught not to do such a thing. The message is commonly packaged in the box of it’s selfish to think of yourself first. Granted, there are some women out there that practice it so much that they forget they need other people and end up isolating themselves. I’m not talking about those women.
It is such a positive benefit for women to have clarity around what they value and why. In fact a great question to ask yourself is, “why is this important to me?” For those single women out there who long to meet your soul mate, what would that do for you? To be happy is not really the answer. The need for the soul mate then becomes the dependent factor in your having happiness and if the relationship doesn’t work out then you’re right back to seeking happiness again.
At this point, you are probably really starting to wonder, and it’s a good thing to do that, what it is that you truly value. Start by making a list. Write it out, don’t censor yourself and don’t hold back, this list is for you. Make it as long or as short as you like.
When you feel as though you’re complete with your list, now ask yourself one value at a time, why it’s important to you. What you just might discover is that one or more of those values really aren’t your value at all, it’s really someone else’s. You might even recognize who gave you that value. Was it a friend, a parent, or maybe even a sibling?
Start to cross some of them off your list, and then rate those left in order of importance. Now that you have a more succinct list that you feel good about, look at your life as if you’re looking in the mirror, and you’ll start to see who you’re being. The people in your life will provide you with the most crystal clear mirror you could ever have. Be courageous and bold in consideration of your reflection, and the choices you make from here will reflect the new you.