We all usually have someone in our life that has that affect on us. I had a conversation with a client this morning about that. She painted this particular scenario where she brought up all these reasons as to why this person bothered her. How he did things that were inappropriate based on a general consensus of how “it’s just not how things are done.”
So some things I posed to her was, well what if it were someone else? Would it have bothered her as much? She hesitantly admitted, probably not. So what was it about him that she was making mean about herself? That was the big question.
Another topic we addressed was that based on her “reasons for being bothered”, she was assuming that everyone knows the same rules and how one is supposed to behave or act in any given situation. That’s also to assume that everyone was raised the same way, from the same parents, with the same values…as if there is a handbook somewhere and everyone gets certified in it.
Problem is, that’s just not the case. So now knowing this, how can we not get bothered by others? Once we delved deeper into the subject, we started to get into what he represents. When we get bothered, annoyed or frustrated buy someone it’s usually for one of two reasons, and it doesn’t have anything to do with them.
One is that this person is holding up a metaphorical mirror exposing us to something we don’t like about ourselves. The other is that this person is reminding us that there is something that we aren’t expressing that we either need to or want to but are holding back. Either of these things can be frustrating, aren’t they?
Now I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with you, there isn’t, and I’m also saying that there isn’t anything wrong with the other person either. Actually there isn’t anything wrong at all. What’s merely happening is that your perception about this person is getting in the way of you being free to be who you are and to be in the moment.
What would it like for you to let go of all judgment of others so much so, that no matter what anyone does or says, you aren’t bothered? Or annoyed? Or frustrated? Instead you just be and let everyone be, and you let that moment pass.
Remember that everyone is on their own path at their own pace. Also remember that the only reason anyone does or says anything is because in some way, they think it’s going to make themselves feel better. Including you. So does being bothered, annoyed or frustrated make you feel better? Probably not. If you simply changed your perception, it would change the way you feel.