This is something I still struggle with sometimes. Years ago I had the realization that the message I was giving out was “I’m fine by myself, I don’t NEED anyone else”, if someone is in my life, it’s because I want them there, not because I need them. I also realized how that affected me when I did need others. Whether it be for companionship, assistance, ideas, etc.
I had a hard time asking for help. In the beginning I would force myself to ask others for help even though I was afraid they would say no and sometimes assumed all the reasons why someone wouldn’t want to. With practice, I got better at it regardless of how uncomfortable it was for me.
What I started to notice was how often those I asked for help said yes. How much they got pleasure from the fact that I would ask THEM for help and how much they enjoyed providing the help. I also started to notice over time that I was being offered help without having to ask for it at all.
What would that be like for you? If you’re someone who seems to do it all on her own, what would the experience be for you to not have to do it all by yourself? Are you being resistant because you know they won’t do it the way you would want them to? You just might be fascinated to see how someone else will approach something even though it’s different than how you would do it.
I’m not going to suggest that you start to ask others for help unless you are ready for it. Although what if it were true that you could be ready at any moment? Maybe at some point today, you aren’t sure when, or what you’ll need help with, or maybe you already do. Play a game to see how many takers you will get. All it takes is to ask one person, one time to experience something different.