Certified Professional & Executive Life-Coach

This is something I still struggle with sometimes. Years ago I had the realization that the message I was giving out was “I’m fine by myself, I don’t NEED anyone else”, if someone is in my life, it’s because I want them there, not because I need them. I also realized how that affected me when I did need others. Whether it be for companionship, assistance, ideas, etc.

I had a hard time asking for help. In the beginning I would force myself to ask others for help even though I was afraid they would say no and sometimes assumed all the reasons why someone wouldn’t want to. With practice, I got better at it regardless of how uncomfortable it was for me.

What I started to notice was how often those I asked for help said yes. How much they got pleasure from the fact that I would ask THEM for help and how much they enjoyed providing the help. I also started to notice over time that I was being offered help without having to ask for it at all.

What would that be like for you? If you’re someone who seems to do it all on her own, what would the experience be for you to not have to do it all by yourself? Are you being resistant because you know they won’t do it the way you would want them to? You just might be fascinated to see how someone else will approach something even though it’s different than how you would do it.

I’m not going to suggest that you start to ask others for help unless you are ready for it. Although what if it were true that you could be ready at any moment? Maybe at some point today, you aren’t sure when, or what you’ll need help with, or maybe you already do. Play a game to see how many takers you will get. All it takes is to ask one person, one time to experience something different.

The following is a perfect example of the power of believing in yourself. How many of you think that you could speak and be present in front of a large audience for a total of 9 minutes? How many of you think that you could speak in front of an audience for 9 minutes and talk about believing in yourself and believing in others? How many of you could do that in front of an audience of 20,000 people? How many of you would believe that a 5th grader spoke in front of an audience of 20,000 teachers, school staff members, district workers, kids, and counselors for almost 10 minutes? Well believe it. Believing is seeing. See for yourself.

Due to content rights, I am unable to upload the link in my blog. Go to YouTube and search for Dalton Sherman. You’ll be amazed!

If you are stuck in one area of your life, you might want to ask yourself, how am I keeping myself safe by not doing what I am really wanting to do. You might then say well, it’s not that I’m keeping myself safe, I am just not motivated. Or possibly afraid of some sort of outcome or failure. When I say safe, I mean, playing small. Staying where you are now because it’s scary to get “over there” where you want to be.

So in essence you start to realize that you aren’t really stuck at all. You are just staying put because it appears to be more comfortable there. It’s what you know, it’s more predictable.

Is there a part of you that wants to do it and a part of you that doesn’t? Believe it or not that’s a simple internal conflict that can be resolved. You might even realize that you’ve been stuck before and somehow became unstuck.

What worked for you in the past? What inner and outer resources were you able to tap into to help yourself move through it? You have what you need, you are just looking into the wrong place. Get in touch with the feeling of what it be like to take that step forward. It just takes putting one foot in front of the other.

Wherever you are, stand in one place with your feet together. Visualize an imaginary line in front of your toes. On the other side of that line is where you have been wanting to get to. Imagine yourself being where you want to be, accomplishing that very thing you want to achieve. When you are in that positive feeling place, step over that line and now see how you feel. You took your first step.