Certified Professional & Executive Life-Coach

Recently I was talking to a mom who was expressing some of her frustrations as a parent of two teenagers. Although she mostly plays the role of mom, she also plays the role of chauffeur and taxi driver. Since it’s summertime and her kids are out of school for a few months, she wants to give them as many memorable experiences as possible where they get to play before next semester.

Even though her kids have the summer off, she still has to work full-time as does her husband and is tired after her 9am-5pm work schedule. She recognizes how her teens are having the kind of fun she wanted to have when she was in high school. Whether it’s picking her son up after a bonfire at the beach, or back and forth trips to the mall with her daughter, she’s driving around town to make sure they have safe, reliable transportation.

It all seems like a never ending ride when she picks them up from one place, and as soon as they get in the car, they are asking her to take them someplace later that night or the next day. It must be so much fun to do as much as they can during those hours they would normally be in school. Her cry out for help was expressed literally by using the words of “I need a vacation from their vacation”.

Like the vacation my client Danielle wanted to take so badly but couldn’t because of her frustrations with money. We dug deeper into the specifics of her financial situation and she revealed something she doesn’t normally express. Although she’s a go-getter and works really hard to earn a good living, she has always felt this need to take care of others.

This part of her came about because of some her experiences growing up. She had a mother who struggled to keep food on the table and the bills paid. So Danielle started doing her part to contribute at an early age by working while she was in high school. She further developed this person who was a financial caretaker by extending help to a brother as they entered their adult years.

Her brother had lost his job a few years back and had spiraled into a depression where he couldn’t find another job. His way of dealing with the stress was to drink to relax which was the beginning of a long-term problem. On top of that, her brother has kids and Danielle was afraid that if she didn’t send him money that the kids wouldn’t be taken care of.

Like the ability a woman has to take care of herself in a relationship. Gina shared with me a story about a guy she has been seeing for two years. It too was like a spiraled rollercoaster ride that had its ups and downs. She admitted they had a strong sexual connection, and that although they had a good time when they were together, she also knew that it wasn’t necessarily the healthiest relationship for her.

She went back and forth as to whether or not she wanted more of a committed relationship with him. She recognized how this isn’t really the kind of person she wanted to be with long term, but yet she found herself going back and then got frustrated when he would say he can’t give her anything more. During those evenings when she wanted nothing more than to have some intimacy, she was overcome with disappointment when he would say, “I can’t” or “not tonight”.

“Why does it always have to be when it’s convenient for him?” was a major question she was asking out loud in our sessions. Just when she would get to that point of being done, she would tell him so and it was then that he would start to show up in the way she would ideally want him to. The trouble was, it wasn’t consistent, it was a pattern and she knew she was done and didn’t know how to say no to him.

Being able to say yes is one thing, and being able to say no is sometimes more powerful! What most people don’t realize is that when you have a hard time saying no, it’s most often because you’re not willing to admit to something that you’re afraid of. Are you afraid of disappointing someone else? Are you afraid that you will scare someone off? Is the fear about looking selfish or as if you aren’t a caring person?

If you are one of those people who has a hard time saying no, have you thought about the fact that you might be enabling someone else to continue being the way they are and being reliant on you? So by saying no, what are you saying “yes” to? I’m not going to suggest that you’re wondering what you are saying yes to, as you can probably guess, it’s you! Let me say that again. By being able to say no to someone else, you are really saying yes to you!

There’s also the possibility that the people you say yes to all the time are so used to it, and now unconsciously expect it, that their appreciation for your generosity has waned. Whether it’s your time, your emotions, or financial help, what would it be like to say “no, not this time”. By looking out for your own needs first, to make sure you are taking care of you, you will then make powerful choices about how it is that you can take care of others.

Like Gina who took a deeper look at what it is that she truly values in a relationship. After getting some relationship coaching she also got really honest with herself about what she wants right now in her life. She admitted that she does want to a more serious long-term relationship, and wants to feel like her romantic partner is looking out for her needs in addition to his own.

Although she was afraid to admit that, she felt much better once she did! The clarity she now had about what she valued also included the value she has to offer as a woman. She now felt great about the conversation she was going to have with this guy and how empowered she would feel once she did

Like the empowered feeling Danielle got, when she thought about the possibility of no longer having to be financially responsible for her brother. She too was afraid to admit it at first because of what it would mean about her if she didn’t help him. She now saw that if she started to say no, he would have to find a way to take care of himself and his kids.

After asking her more questions during our last coaching session, she was able to admit that he was fully capable of stepping up. Since she was filling the shoes as the provider all those years, it meant that he didn’t have to. Her then having to admit that she has possibly an enabler all this time was hard for her too, but once she did, she also learned that by empowering herself to say no, she would then empower him to say yes.

Such as the yes the mom wanted to say to herself with regards to giving herself that vacation! She is a mom who loves her kids tremendously and was enjoying seeing how much fun they were having. In the process of letting go of her frustration, she could clearly see what she would be gaining.

In delving deeper as to why she was saying yes, she became peaceful about being able to say no. What she would gain is the self-respect and the pride in knowing that she is setting a good example. When her kids get older, they will look back at this time and remember that their mom too said no, not only because she had to work the next day but because of the love she holds for herself.

I was sitting in my office with my client Noah, him sharing with me all the things that are causing him a great amount of stress these days. His is another powerful situation of personal reinvention that seems to playing out to wide audiences like the sound waves so easily heard at the Hollywood Bowl. He too is going through a reinvention of self that seems to be taking a tremendous hit to the relentless ego.

As an entrepreneur and someone whom others have always turned to for help, he could no longer play that role. His way of retreating was a reason and a reaction at the same time. If he kept to himself, he didn’t have to be honest with others about his situation and this way, he could deal with it on his own. The catch was he knew he needed help with asking for help.

It was interesting to me how methodical and organized he was in terms of his priorities, who and what was important to him; in addition to what he knew he needed to do. He would talk in circles of which I realized I needed to catch him on the way to his next go around. What I pointed out to him was that he also was looking too far in advance and was letting our creation of time overwhelm him.

This reminded me of another client, a woman in her late thirties who was going through a major transitional time and personal reinvention herself. She too could see out in to the future and knew what felt best to do in looking ahead, but was stumped by her far reaching future that seemed like it would be here tomorrow. I remember hearing her say, “How could I, the person who is usually the pillar of strength for everyone else, be going through all of this?!”

She painted the picture for me of the most stressful six months she recently went through. In the past and was used to easily picking herself up and hopping over the river to the next opportunity that came her way within a few months of losing a job, but this time was different. This time it had been much longer and the government help was running out.

She finally got an offer, which felt like just in time, and within a few days of accepting it, the company rescinded it. After being told very simply that Management decided to go in a different direction, she angrily hung up the phone and felt the world crushing down on her. She fell to her knees, had a good cry and picked herself up to take a shower that felt more like a bad energy cleanse.

After calming herself she realized what she had to do. She humbly called those close to her and did something she had a really difficult time doing. Done in a manner similar to being ashamed, she asked for help. What she didn’t realize then was that she was setting herself up for something really great. It was during this time that she scaled back her belongings, found a storage unit, packed her stuff up in boxes and moved in with family.

“So what is it about family dynamics sometimes?” This was a question a friend of mine posed to me, as we were uncovering why she felt she had to handle everything on her own. She had learned that we all hit plateaus in our lives; whether it’s with personal experiences or business, and that it’s at those times when it’s best to reach out for a hand.

She was struggling with her ability to do that, and knew it had to do with how things were handled when she was growing up. It was typical in her family that whenever someone was going through something drastic, you don’t talk about it until it becomes a crisis. It was just understood, with a never discussed agreement, that it’s best not to worry anyone else.

When you did talk about it, there was an overreaction from all family members and now everyone was trying to solve it. With everyone’s reactions masked as assistance, it was more overwhelming than to try and be the sole survivor. She wanted to have a breakthrough in this area and was trying to get clear about what was underneath all of this.

It’s been said that when you try something new and try to get better at it, you will arrive at the plateau where most people throw in the towel and give up. It’s those who choose to master this new task or way of being that they ask for help. Help can come in many forms and one way is to hire a coach.

A coach will assist you to discover what crawls underneath and surfaces itself just enough to cause ripples, road bumps or potholes in your journey. Is it that you are afraid of being rejected, or that maybe you aren’t perfect after all? Maybe it’s the fear that others might find out that you really don’t have all the answers or that you have a limiting belief about not having anything to offer them?

You know on an intellectual level that these types of thoughts just aren’t true. You also may be aware that making the assumption that things will always be how they’ve been in the past is not always the case either. On a deep level you may also know that there was some sort of earlier event in your life as to how these things got created.

What kind of thoughts do you really want to be having? If you were to truly believe in yourself how much would that free you up? By asking for help from others, what are you open to receiving? In surrendering to where you’re at and being at peace with it, it’s amazing how a trapdoor can magically open with help showing up without having to ask for it at all.

Like my friend who realized that by being open to having others lend a hand, it doesn’t mean she’s not enough to begin with. She also got that just because those in her family deal with things this way doesn’t mean she has to, anymore. Her new belief is that she as a person is more than enough, that she has all the resources she needs, and the sooner you ask for help when circumstances begin, the more energy she has to overcome it!

The first few times she did, it was a little strange but soon it became not just easier but fun! Whenever she is now around her family, she is also aware of those buttons our loved ones seem to find so easily and push just enough to get a reaction. Her new response: Step 1) listen without reacting, Step 2) be inquiry to find out why they were saying what they did, Result = the button gets left alone.

Not unlike the aloneness that my late thirties client felt in going through this major transition time. She shifted her intention so that she no longer had to go it alone. As soon as she surrendered to where she was at, it was interesting what showed up. Not only did the help come, it also came in the form of things or services she needed. Sometimes they were things that she never even expressed out loud.

The timeliness also surprised her. Things were moving so fast that she didn’t have much time to get uncomfortable with their arrival or think about why they came. It was weeks later that she also noticed that she felt more relaxed and that she didn’t have to make as much effort to make things happen. They just did.

Like the speed of time that was overwhelming Noah. In reaching too far ahead, he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. As if to engage in a game where he could either stop time or slow it down, he now understood the power of choice in every moment.

By choosing to take each 24 hours, one day at a time, he was only in the here and now. It was then easier to map out what he needed to do and actually do it, by leaving the uncertainty about his potential future to the future. He then proceeded with the simple task of making a few phone calls, something that didn’t seem so simple just a few weeks before. By taking that easy to chew on, bite size piece, he heard a voice on the other line say, yes, I’ll help you. As he took a deep breath after hearing those words, he could dial the keys on his phone once again, only to spell out the word “possibility.”

As we are all unique in our experiences and what is true for us at this time, they can spark recalled memories or create new inspiring thoughts. Whatever comes up for you may also speak to your values in terms of honoring them or how you are currently in discord with them. I invite you to read ahead, allowing your unconscious mind to naturally find the value it will create for you.

A friend of mind was going through a period in her life where things had slowed down a bit. She was conducting workshops only every few weeks, completed a work related training program she had been involved in for a year, and had been separated from her husband for a while with no clear answer of what to do with her marriage. She asked herself what she would want to do with her time over the next few months, and the answer she heard from within was to go on a trip to Central America. One of the things on her list of dreams and had wanted to do for many years.

She knew she wanted to go to Costa Rica then traveling north, and she also knew that she wanted to do some volunteer work with women during her trip. She bought her ticket and was preparing to leave for two months, all the while sending out emails to contacts to arrange for some volunteer work ahead of time. With no success or clear answer, and her destination date set, she headed to the airport and began her journey. While in Costa Rica, another check mark was placed in front of an item on her list of yet unfulfilled dreams. She paddled out on a board and learned how to surf.

Over the next week or two she would jump online as often as she could, sending emails to see where the adventure would take her to do volunteer work. With a clear intention, she just happened to meet someone who referred her to a women’s center in El Remate, a town in Guatemala. During the same short laptop session, a quick correspondence took place between her and the women’s center saying they would love to have her. After rerouting herself to El Remate, she was presented to a group of local women. When asked what they would like her to help them with, she was surprised by their answer.

Like the surprise I got when driving behind an old, red Volkswagen Jetta on Fountain here in LA, heading towards The Edge to take a dance class. I watched the car in front me while stopped at a red light, noticing the head of the female driver bop around. It was as if she was rocking out to music in her car. For a moment, I was quickly tapping into my imagination, trying to guess who she might be listening to.

When the light turned green, her car didn’t move as if someone pushed on the gas pedal. Instead, it simply glided forward and over to the right. It strangely looked as if the car parked itself against the curb and just stopped. Curious, I drove by slowly. What I saw was something I wasn’t prepared for, and reacted to it without needing preparation.

What I realized is that she had a seizure, hence the head bopping. She was foaming at the mouth, eyes closed and head dangling towards the driver side window. I immediately parked anywhere I could, in an attempt to call 911 which felt like 100 times. I couldn’t get through and remember throwing my phone on the floor out of frustration. I jumped out of my car and ran to the nearest apartment. I’m sure I scared the heck out of the younger tenants of the nice Spanish speaking family who answered the door. The older son understood what I was attempting to communicate, I needed their phone!

There were some other nice passersby who helped me until the ambulance got there. One of them helped me prop up the girl’s head, which was suggested to me by the person who answered my 911 call. They slowly all dispersed while I waited until I knew that she was being taken care of by the paramedics. I was scared though…what if I had waited too long and she had brain damage from lack of oxygen?! I was afraid that her tongue may have obstructed her air passage, a fear that created a pit in my stomach.

Like the nervous, anxious feeling I get in my stomach when I’m running late to things. I hate getting anywhere late. This is especially true when on my way to events where I am speaking in front of an audience. Technically I wasn’t running late, I just wanted to make sure I had enough time to set up and prepare, leaving a little bit of cushion to be able to relax and ground myself.

I was running through my head all the different ways I could have gone that morning. Maybe I should have chosen a different route? In the meantime, I’m inching a little bit every minute or two, hoping that traffic would let up. So I turn to my car stereo to try and relax, distracting my attention by listening to some music that has a playful beat to it. As I’m listening to my Curtis Mayfield CD, I realized what was happening in that moment.

We are so busy trying to get somewhere and rushing through our day to do what we need to do, that we sometimes miss what’s right in front of us. The unconscious loves symbols, and there is so much symbolism in our lives that gets passed over based on what we are focusing on. We may miss opportunities where we can connect with others or be of service and assistance.

By tapping into our passions and knowing what we want, we can manifest our dreams into reality, often in ways that surprise us. Since we get what we focus on in life, and always without question, focus on what you want! Ask yourself, “What am I inspired to do?” Then ask, “How can I do more things with intention?” This is important because intended action happens from inspiration, and inspiration is having clarity in knowing what you want. Being inspired to do something is more powerful than being motivated. Motivation is doing something because you feel you have to, and comes from potential unwanted consequences.

What do you want for yourself, and what do you want to see more in the world around you? It’s surprising when we learn all the ways we can help others that in turn will fulfill our own dreams. Inspiration can also arrive in a flash where we get to help someone else and feel good about ourselves too. Sometimes it’s just serendipity, a simple reminder that we are exactly where we are supposed to be.

Like the chorus in the Curtis Mayfield song being pumped through my speakers. In the very instant that I became aware of what the words were, there was a woman with her blinker on trying to get in front of me to move into the lane I was in. I heard “trying to get over, trying to get over….” over and over. I let out a funny giggle and had to play the song again, just to make sure that was what I heard, as I was witnessing it in front of me.

I let her over and started to relax, and realized that if I start a little late and don’t have as much time as I usually do, it will all be just fine. The second time I heard the song I experienced the humor of the message I was getting. Before I knew it, the traffic loosened up and I was about to make a right hand turn onto Venice Boulevard and ended up getting there just a few minutes later than I had intended.

Just like the yoga class I went to check out at the 24 hour fitness near the Arc Light Theatre on Sunset. I had never taken a class there before and just started to go workout at that location. I found a spot on the floor after everyone else had scurried into the room and quickly rolled out their mats. Unfortunately where I ended up sitting, was behind a pole so I had a hard time seeing the teacher. The music started and I heard this really sweet voice start to talk to all the participants about taking a deep breathe.

As I tried to look around the pole and see what she was demonstrating, I couldn’t believe my eyes and was almost in doubt. Could it be?! The woman who was teaching the class was also the girl in the red Jetta. Come to think of it, she was in workout clothes when she had her seizure. I waited around after class and approached her. As I introduced myself and started to say hello, I then began to recite the occurrence of driving behind her when her face lit up. She called me her angel and offered to do something to thank me for saving her life. I politely declined and just responded with happiness seeing that she was completely okay.

Similar to the comfort my friend had when the women asked her to help them build and plant vegetable gardens. She of course jumped on board and before she knew it, she had appointments over the next few weeks, planting 40 gardens in 25 days. It was on her birthday, while she was pouring some seeds into the ground that she had an epiphany and began to tear up. What she stands for is the end of world hunger. What better way than co-creating self sustainability for a woman to grow her own vegetables to feed her family.

Recently I was in a Life Coaching session with one of my clients who told me a very touching, heartfelt story. She had gotten off early from work one day last week, so before she headed home to let her nanny off and to happily see her girls, she headed over to Trader Joes to get some of her kids’ favorite foods. The grocery list included Mac N Cheese, quesadilla ingredients, as well as those green vegetables she continuously attempts to get her kids to eat. While she was checking the items off her list, she called the nanny to see if there were any necessities missing from the fridge.

The nanny had mentioned that when they arrived at the house, after she picked up her two girls from elementary school, Megan age 5 and Alisa age 9, which their very sweet and very old dog Flower, was laying outside on the grass and couldn’t get up. The typical after school activities usually include getting the jackets and backpacks filled with books out of the car and into the house, snack time, homework, playtime, and then dinner. It was a bit cold and windy that day so instead the girls found a towel to place over Flower to keep her warm.

It reminded me of the time when I drove down to Orange County to take my parent’s dog on a walk while they were out of town. I had about 20 minutes to go before I would arrive to a wagging tail, when my cell phone rang. I turned down the volume on my stereo and pressed that green button on my mobile. It was my mom letting me know that they had just left Sin City and they were about 5 hours away. Although we experienced a few dropped calls and spotty reception, we were able to communicate what we needed to. We talked about how their trip was, and I gave her the update about their Cocker Spaniel, Dusty.

A few minutes later I arrived at their house and went in to greet a very excited dog. I gave him some water and made sure he had enough food in his feeder when the house phone rang. It was my parent’s phone which I have never answered before but there was this really strong voice I was hearing saying, “you should answer it.” So after about three rings, I did. I said hello and the voice on the other end of the line introduced herself as one of the nurses from the hospice where my grandma was, who we lovingly called Bubby, telling me those dreaded words, “this is it.”

Those are also usually words said by a soon-to-be mom that goes into labor. When my second nephew decided it was his time to come into the world, my sister’s water broke and we all drove over to the hospital where the exciting event was about to take place. She had been through this one other time before, so she was a bit more relaxed about letting some of us in the room where little Nathaniel was to arrive a few hours later. It was interesting and quite educational watching my sister go through the process of getting the epidural anesthesia and then breathing into her body, helping her reach as much relaxation as she could.

She was so very Zen about the whole thing and the energy in the room was amazing. Even with having family there to witness the entire thing, everyone was so relaxed and extremely excited at the same time. When it came time to push, the delightful nurses helped my sister up into position. It was so beautiful to see the crowning of the baby’s head as if to feel teased in his appearance. My sister, who barely seemed to break a sweat, was such an example of how special a woman’s beauty is in that moment.

Which is really an example of how special life is isn’t it? I frequently share one of my mantra’s with my Life Coaching clients which is “everyone is on their own path, at their own pace.” Something that is even true with regards to when we come into this world and when we decide to leave it. We develop relationships with other people that are so strong that we don’t realize how attached we are to having them in our lives. How great would it be if we could see people, friends and family, even our pets as enhancements to who we are?

I feel so blessed that I have had the privilege of watching a life come into the world and watching a spirit leave. They were two extreme experiences that remind me simply, that I am alive. Along with having to say goodbye, comes the process of having to come to peace with the fact that they are no longer here, in the way we are used to. Our ability to grieve is a personal one, including how and when. To the person grieving, we feel like we have to say something like “I’m sorry”, or “time heals all” when sometimes really the best thing to say is, “I don’t know what to say.”

Like the feeling of how incredible it was to watch my very cute nephew be birthed and then to hold him a few minutes later! We all got a sense of how powerful the woman’s body, stamina and capacity to create are. When Nathaniel’s head and arm pushed through, it was the first sign of him about to begin his first day in this new world. To help him completely come in to this part of his life experience, the nurse gently pulled him out.

We heard what sounded like a little lamb, but it was really Nathaniel saying hello to his family. That childlike wonder in me said quietly in my mind, “that was really cool!” I had the camera that day and I remember taking pictures of all these amazing first moments. Here we are almost a year later and we are about to celebrate his first birthday in a few weeks. I am so curious to see how his life will unfold. When he’ll take his first steps, evolve his baby talk into attempted words, and hold his Aunty Lani’s hand with intention.

As I drove over to the hospice and I parked my car, I was already creating my intention for these last hours I would be spending with my Bubby. It was to be a supportive, loving, and nurturing energy for her, like she had been to me growing up. When she passed the following morning and I watched her take her last breath, I had a whole different take on what life is about.

Although I cried for hours that day, once we left the hospice I didn’t cry for another three weeks. Even at the funeral I barely shed a tear. I guess I felt at that time that I wanted to continue to support others in their grieving, not realizing I was denying myself permission to as well. A few weeks later I woke up one night around 3am and finally let it out. I found myself walking aimlessly over to my computer and I started to type. By the time I was done I had created about 10 pages of feelings and memories of who my Bubby was to me and recognized that my process of grieving her loss was just fine. I did it in my own time and the way that felt best to me.

Like the girls who started to realize what was happening with Flower. The parents came home and had to make that really difficult decision of taking her to the vet. When they got her in the car, they invited the girls to say goodbye. Alisa was already allowing herself to openly express her sadness and opted not to. The time she spent with Flower outside on the grass was all she needed.

Megan on the other hand was cracking jokes, finding books to read and masking her sadness by pretending to cry. Her dad explained what they were about to do and that once they take Flower away, she’s not coming back. She did go out to the car to say goodbye, then came back in the house and proceeded to play. As a Life Coach and a friend, I was doing what I could to let her know that whatever she was feeling inside was fine and that if she wanted to show her sadness that was fine too.

Later that night I went to a speaking engagement where the panel just so happened to be about loss. The woman who spoke in regards to relationship loss, and loss from the death of a loved one, shared with us her story. She had lost her husband without notice and had a four year old son at the time. Her son didn’t allow himself to mourn the death of his dad when it first happened. That was difficult for her, especially having to go through the grieving process herself. It was years later when their dog died, that he finally cried about missing his dad. She expressed to her audience how interesting it is that we sometimes wish others would mourn the way we do but yet, they somehow find their way on their own.

I’ve been hammering my brain trying to figure out how I wanted to introduce myself to the public as “The Sentient Scribe”, so I decided to go and sit outside on this nice afternoon and meditate on it. As I was laying there in my front yard I could hear the cars driving by and the sounds of people walking through my neighborhood here in West Hollywood. While feeling the warmth of the sun on my face, I started to let my thoughts wander as they often do, don’t they? My almost two year old puppy caught my attention as she frequently demands it, and proceeded to entertain me. It makes me smile how she still loves to chase her tail, switching direction after making a few rounds and then stopping at the end to make sure I’m watching her. I was then thinking about how since I’ve gotten her, how often I would get stopped by passersby who were curious about what kind of dog she is and had to explain the now once obscure breed of a Portuguese water dog. And then I knew exactly what I wanted to write about.

The night before, I was out with a group for our friend Anna’s Birthday celebration. It was a fun excuse to go out to a nice restaurant, being that it’s infrequent that I do, to indulge in the well thought out, prepared meals by a Chef who expresses themselves artistically, releasing their creations with each plate placed in front of the salivating guest. With the aromas and flavors capturing my attention, so did the atmosphere of all those partaking in this celebration of eating. It’s one of my favorite things to do, gathering around a table to eat a meal, enjoying conversation with those I don’t see too often, as well as listening to a narrative I’ve already heard about something prominent in a friend’s life of whom I do. While we were ordering our entrees I secretly whispered to our server, “by the way, the girl sitting across from me…it’s her Birthday.” The server smiled, as we both knew the fun surprise that was coming her way around dessert time, even though it’s a common practice in our culture.

When our plates were cleared, someone at our table went outside to make an important phone call on her cell, and was peeking in the window to make sure she didn’t miss the Happy Birthday song. A few minutes later a plate with a big piece of chocolate cake, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and “Happy Birthday” written in chocolate sauce around the outside edge, was presented to the Birthday girl. Those of us at the table with the participation of some of the other restaurant guests started to sing the Happy Birthday song. As I was looking at the gleaming face of our Birthday friend who moved here from London a few months ago, and has experienced some life altering struggles since her journey to the US, she had that element of an unexpected surprise written all over her face.

It reminded me of a time when I was with my friend Lori, walking our dogs who have a serious puppy love crush on each other. We were talking about a relationship she was in that had ended a few weeks prior. Although she is aware of her dating patterns, this one in particular was a tough and monumental one for her at the same time. She’s gone through that rollercoaster ride of feeling as if she’s never going to find Mr. Right, and wanting to be treated the way she knows she deserves. She frequently questions her own thoughts, behaviors and actions and has a hard time trusting the choices that she makes.

As a Life Coach, I commonly see my clients go through this ride called life. No matter the gender, age, where you’re from or your upbringing, as human beings we all have these filters that impact our experiences. We have this overall yearning for “more” and “better”, and we get stuck in our habits and the safety net of what we know. Whether it’s through the use of Life Coaching, NLP, or Hypnotherapy, the intention is for my client to experience a new level of clarity and learn what it’s like to truly be where you’re at. Once you are present and in the moment, the fun begins in uncovering those passions that inspire you and motivate you. It’s about acknowledging your dreams that you’re sometimes too afraid to admit you have, because others try to convince you that they are either unrealistic or unattainable. Then there are those people who know they are one step further when they open their eyes a little wider, and start to have the awareness of recognizing their own power.

Like my friend Lori did. When we stopped to unwind the leashes that became intertwined from our dogs wrestling, she finally said it. She realized that her previous dating situation was something she manifested, regardless of how uncomfortable or confronting it was. She then said to me, “to be able to create that, I now understand my own power”. As a Life Coach, I was so excited for her that I jumped up and down on the sidewalk and told her how huge that was and suggested she say it again! As the words came out of her mouth the second time, a big smile ensued, and a surprising peacefulness overcame her as she stood there.

Like the surprise of the Birthday cake and Anna hearing everyone in the restaurant singing Happy Birthday to her. Our friend, who was making a phone call outside, ended her call as quickly as she could when she saw the burning candle through the window at our table. She was disappointed she missed out on the singing and suggested we sing it again. So we did! Not only did those of us at the table sing again, everyone in the restaurant did too, and without hesitation. The highlight was hearing the immense gratitude from Anna about how that evening was the best Birthday she’s had since she was young. She explained that she hadn’t experienced a Birthday cake and being sung to since she was seven years old.

So once I knew, I went inside with my dog Georgie following at my heels, and sat myself down at my desk. Georgie parked herself at my feet and my fingers began to swipe the keys on my computer. With the curiosity of wondering what my thoughts would create over the next hour or two, I allowed my creativity to take over. What should never be taken for granted is our ability to listen and engage ourselves in the power of a story.